I learned of this list on YouTube, and the video was a snarky explication of it. I don’t agree with the entire list (as posited by people such as Dr. Pia de Solenni and even St. John Paul II, there is such a thing as authentic Christian feminism; as long as older women understand spiritual headship per constant Christian teaching, marrying someone older than you is not a problem; Jesus’ proscription against divorce was not except in the case of the lack of chastity/adultery per se but lack of validity, which is the best way to translate the Greek word attributed to Him, porneia, etc.). Nonetheless a lot of what he says is valid. 

I agree we should try to avoid dating unbelievers.

If someone is a radical feminist in the mold of Bella Abzug or Gloria Steinem, then, yes, I would never date, much less marry them. Totally different world view, priorities, etc.

Immodest dress is not good. If someone wants to dress like a tart, what does that say about her? Her insecurities? Her values? Her worldview? And if I’m noticing her attributes first, if I’m essentially forced to notice them first because of the way she dresses, am I being attracted to her for the right reasons? Where is my heart?

Similarly, men need to dress modestly, as well. No one needs to see your hairy chest, your six pack. Don’t try to intentionally attract people with your looks, because they are the least constant aspect of you. Ask someone who’s face has been disfigured or the paralyzed former star athlete who had the killer bod. Are these men any less attractive as persons because they no longer look like their former Adonis selves?

Gossip and slander are often mentioned in Scripture along with murder because they murder someone’s reputation. I write in my book 150 North American Martyrs You Should Know of how St. Kateri Tekakwitha, when she found her conversation with other women turning to gossip, would turn the conversation around to discussing the saints or some other holy things. That seems about right. Same with us men: WE MUST LEAD. WE CANNOT GIVE IN TO GOSSIP AND SLANDER. WE MUST ALWAYS ASSUME GOOD WILL ON THE PARTS OF OTHERS. If we don’t, woe is us.

I absolutely believe — for both theological and philosophical reasons — that married couples must be open to life and that the ultimate end of the marriage act is the procreation and education of children. Each act must be open to life if God wills that life to come into existence. It doesn’t mean we have to have babies each time we make love. Prudence is required, of course. But we can’t have artificial means come into play, and we must be open to God’s will.

I agree women shouldn’t put career ahead of family. But just as a woman shouldn’t do this, neither should a man. While he should be the main provider (in most instances), his children need his presence. They need his manly leadership in the home. They need a woman’s maternal touch and guidance. They don’t need workaholics.

Finally, he’s right about the need for a relationship with Our Lord and how He needs to be first in our lives. Vince Lombardi of happy memory (GO! PACK! GO!) told his players: God, family, job, in that order.

I think Pastor Kim is generally dead on, and I feel sad for those who are mocking himIt says more about them than it does about them.


by Dr. Stephen Kim In a former post, I detailed 10 men that Christian women ought to avoid when considering marriage.  Today, I present to you my list for Christian men. “I have perceived amo…



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