A Conversation I Never Wanted to Have

Possibly proving that good can come out evil, the garbage happening with Judge Kavanaugh forced me to have a conversation with my adolescent daughter I never envisioned happening. However … and God forbid, PLEASE!, that this ever happens … if she should ever find herself the victim of a sexual assault, I hope she will now be better situated to deal with it in a way that will increase both her credibility and that justice will come to the person who attacks her.

If she is ever sexually assaulted (or assaulted in any way), she should do each of the following:

  1. Get immediate medical attention. Don’t shower, don’t wash, don’t douche (I didn’t say that part, but it should factor in), don’t collect $200, just pass “Go,” and get to a doctor, Urgent Care facility, or hospital. That way medical experts there can collect scientific evidence that will help convict the perpetrator if police ever catch him or her.
  2. Go to the police. “How?” she asked. Have a friend or family call, call 911, ask the medical personnel, stop a cop, make the police station your first stop on the way home. Do whatever you have to do, but make sure you give them a written statement. That way a public record is extant, and thereby no confusion exists that later calls into doubt the date, the time, or the fact that such an assault happened. But, I heavily stressed, don’t ever file a false report for any reason. To do so, I told her, “would be evil, about the worst thing you could ever do outside of murder.” Because you would then be murdering someone’s good name and reputation.
  3. Tell friends and family. Tell them. Let them know. Yes, you’re embarrassed. Yes, you’re ashamed. Yes, you’re feeling emotional pain. Yes, you’re afraid. However, do it anyway. By doing so, you now have hopefully credible people who can vouch for you should your recollections ever be called into question.
  4. Journal about your experience. A diary is not a public record. It does, however, provide additional written evidence that can be shown to authorities at a later time that will help bolster that X happened on Y date in Z place, and this is how it went down.

None of this will guarantee that someone will get arrested. None of this will guarantee a conviction. It will not even guarantee that people will believe you, especially if the accused has a reputation of good standing within his or her community.

What it will do, though, is to increase the chances that good people will believe you, that your accusations will result in an arrest, and that this arrest will result in a conviction. Why? Because you will have created an evidentiary trail that others can follow.

After all, what is the biggest problem with the charges against Brett Kavanaugh? No such evidentiary trail exists. This is why I and countless millions of others refuse to believe the dark charges that scum are attempting to use to paint over the canvas of brilliant colors that is the rest of the Judge’s life. They have no hard details of date, time, and corroborating witnesses. In fact, no one has backed up a single charge made by these people.

So if this sort of thing does happen to anyone — again, please, God forbid — then doing the above creates a better chance that people will receive a victim’s charges with credence and support.


2 thoughts on “A Conversation I Never Wanted to Have

  1. Angela M says:

    Also, as a parent tell her all the things to do to avoid getting into that situation whenever possible. Sometimes you can’t help it, but sometimes you can. Follow your gut, if you get a bad feeling – leave, if you see something you don’t like, go home – get out, follow every human instinct you have no matter how silly it seems. We have that instinct especially as women to keep us safe because men are more physically overpowering. God gave us that instinct to avoid getting in those situations that might result in it being too late. Don’t get drunk. Watch your drink; if you drink – never put it down, be wary of “tricky” people – adults don’t ask kids for directions, etc. Also, teach her to COMMUNICATE. So many girls I know act like they want it, when they are still deciding in their heads if they do. Because its fun to be flirty and mysterious and sexy. But then your “no” or “I’m not sure” looks a hell of a lot like a “come hither….” Set boundaries. Stick to them.

    Liked by 1 person

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